Journal Entry 4/20 - The Depths

Hi guys! 

Here's a short verse I wrote a long time ago and haven't been able to come up with more words for it. I thought I'd share this as a reminder, it's inspired by Psalms 139:13-16.

I forgot, from the very first time

How you held my heart 

and formed my inmost parts, oh Lord

I was captivated by you

so elevated by you, oh

what happened to me now?

The first line just goes to point out how we so easily forget that first time, the first time you feel the light and see the truth, the first time you know the hope beyond all of this life. I think that moment is such an important one to remember because it is the moment that everything in your life changes.

The second line is that beautiful, pure picture of Christ holding my heart, holding my whole being, every broken part. The third line goes with this image but adds to it in showing how he shaped me, molded me after His very own image.

The fourth line starts to build up how by this beautiful, glorious image, everything in me was captivated by Him in that very moment. And the fifth line adds to it in saying that every part of me was fixed on him, in the fullest worship and communion with the God of all creation. 

Every part of me was.

This is where is the final line comes in, with a question. How did I leave that place filled with the fullest, most perfect joy? Did I get lost?

I find the answer at the beginning: "I forgot".

I forgot what He has done. I forgot who I am in Him. Like that moment when Peter took his eyes off of Jesus when he was walking on the water, he started falling. I was no longer living in the fullest of joy because my eyes were no longer fixed on Him. I was no longer captivated by Him.

I know it is hard to keep your eyes constantly fixed on the Father, but you're not alone and He is the one who renews your strength in this. 

Please let me know if you have any questions or comments!

Here's another verse of encouragement that came to mind:

"You make known to me the path of life;

in your presence there is fullness of joy;

at your right hand are pleasures forevermore"

Psalms 16:11 ESV

God bless,

Emmaline Albers